When God is Close to the Brokenhearted

Dating|

There was this one time where I really loved this girl, and she loved me back, but things got jacked up because life is broken and people are broken and mistakes are made. In this relationship, most days were really, really great. But there was one day when something happened and my heart was shattered into a million pieces. I can’t get into the details, but I feel like most ...

When I Foolishly Choose Me over Us

Dating, Marriage|

Recently, Rachel and I took a train from London to the East coast of England so that we could walk the White Cliffs of Dover.  It was probably my most favorite experience during our entire time backpacking Europe, only because everything that day was so beautiful – the weather (partly cloudy and breezy, with great lighting for pictures), the cliff’s edge, the wildflowers, the rolling hills, the castle in the ...

How to Get Over the Girl

Courage, Dating|

So there was this one time where I really liked a particular girl.  It was way back in 2005.  She was all wrong for me, but I still wanted it to work, and gave it my all because I thought it just might.  I would be sweet and endearing and thoughtful.  I would demonstrate in meaningful ways how much I cared about her and her family.  I would put in ...

Are You Safe To Be Yourself in Your Marriage?

Dating, Marriage|

Lately I have been reflecting on the passion, energy, and effort involved when a guy really likes a girl and just wants to be with her. You know, when he's past the uncertainty and has made up his mind that she's the one for him for forever, and he goes all gung-ho pursuing her and trying to win her heart. I mean, this hypothetical guy spends time in the gym ...

When Love Starts to Become Conditional

Dating, Marriage|

When I was first falling for Rachel, I tried to do everything to win her heart. I remember teaching her how to juggle, and showing her how to play guitar. I remember writing her poems and letters, and talking with her on the phone for hours, and gladly giving up time I could spend doing the things I’ve always done (my work, my fitness, whatever) just so that I could ...

When You Know, You Know

Dating|

When it comes to finding the “one,” I’ve heard many people say that. “When you know, you know.” I’ve always been like, what does that even mean? How are you supposed to know? And is it so definitive? How can you have a perfect peace about committing to something/someone for the REST OF YOUR LIFE, no matter what? And since it is one of the biggest leaps of faith that ...

In Your Relationship, Does Your Heart Feel Safe?

Dating|

I was talking with my friend Tammy the other day and she shared an insight after reflecting on a recent romantic relationship of hers - an insight which I thought was completely profound. And I asked her if I could blog about it, and she said yes. So here I go. Overall, I feel like a lot of people struggle with figuring out whether a person they like, or the ...

The Beauty of Being Vulnerable in Relationships

Courage, Dating, Strength|

Ive been thinking a lot about one of C.S. Lewis's most famous and most profound quotes: “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it ...

Why You Should Choose Someone Who Is Pursuing God

Dating|

So, I mentioned in my last post about girls and standards that I believed a shared faith is so essential, at least to me.  I mentioned that she should be headed in the same spiritual direction as me, and she should earnestly try to live her life with integrity in all areas.  And I think it's a very reasonable standard to have, and one on which I could never compromise.  ...

What Should We Have In Common If We’re Dating?

Dating|

My friend Mo recently mentioned how she wouldn't date a guy who wasn't into the same type of music as her, and so it got me thinking about our standards for the persons we want to date, and/or fall in love with, and/or spend the rest of our lives with.  Sometimes I feel like my standards for a girl are incredibly - no, insanely - high.  And we all know ...